So I know that my daily irritations are of prime importance to you. Therefore, why deprive you any longer? (And if you're here looking for something other than my inane rantings, go check out Waiting on Wednesday and my series on book cover design for self-published authors.) But if you actually enjoy that kind of thing, then come take a journey with me through this week's special annoyances.
people who drop forks and ask for new ones
So your fork was on the floor for a grand total of 5 seconds. It barely had time to leave a dent in the carpet, let alone acquire dangerous microbes. Not to mention that bacteria need more than 30 seconds to invade a tasty Skittle, so your newly-cleaned, taste-less fork probably has a grand total of one bacterium by the time you scoop it up. So sure, freak out. Demand a new fork. Force the restaurant to use extra water to make your perfectly clean fork about .0005% cleaner for the next person to drop it. And you wonder why kids have no immune resistance anymore.
Did you know that there's a God Gene? And that going to church causes happiness? And Zoloft is the cure for depression? And autism is caused by vaccines? And that we only use 10% of our brains? I hate you all and I will smite you with science! These stupid statements come from a few different places, not least of all everyone's obsession with factoids and total ignorance of the difference between correlation (read: association, A and B occur together a lot) and causation (aka, A causes B). My favorite is when people go bonkers over a neat new finding only to have that finding debunked two weeks later because 50 other researchers did that study and it didn't replicate. Check your facts, people! Because what you think is real could actually be harmful to your health.
Use them. Seriously. How the hell am I supposed to know that you're turning left? Am I a mind reader? Because I'm sorry, but I left my psychic powers in my other coat.
Why does everyone suddenly crochet? This is less of an annoyance and more of a curiosity. Did I miss the boat somewhere? Am I the only girl in the world who doesn't make fashionable knit winterwear?