10.7.14

Book Blurb Breakdown: Of Metal and Wishes by Sarah Fine

book blurb breakdown

Book Blurb Breakdown is a Sarcasm & Lemons feature where your anal English degree-holding author (gently) rips apart jacket blurbs to pin down what makes her want to pick up the book instantly--and what makes her want to throw it at the wall.  See the original post for more detail.  




today's blurb
Status:  Unread


the blurb: as is 
from Goodreads

There are whispers of a ghost in the slaughterhouse where sixteen-year-old Wen assists her father in his medical clinic—a ghost who grants wishes to those who need them most. When one of the Noor, men hired as cheap factory labor, humiliates Wen, she makes an impulsive wish of her own, and the Ghost grants it. Brutally.

Guilt-ridden, Wen befriends the Noor, including their outspoken leader, a young man named Melik. At the same time, she is lured by the mystery of the Ghost and learns he has been watching her … for a very long time.

As deadly accidents fuel tensions within the factory, Wen must confront her growing feelings for Melik, who is enraged at the sadistic factory bosses and the prejudice faced by his people at the hand of Wen’s, and her need to appease the Ghost, who is determined to protect her against any threat—real or imagined. She must decide whom she can trust, because as her heart is torn, the factory is exploding around her … and she might go down with it.


the blurb:  shredded 

There are whispers of a ghost in the slaughterhouse where sixteen-year-old Wen assists her father in his medical clinic (Wait, is this a medical clinic or a slaughterhouse?  Or is the clinic in a slaughterhouse?  I'm confused but intrigued.)—a ghost who grants wishes to those who need them most.  (Okay, that's a new one.  Definitely grabs my attention.) When one of the Noor, men hired as cheap factory labor, (This feels too exposition-y.  We don't need to know that the laborers have a name.  It'd be more succint to say "one of the cheap hired laborers.") humiliates Wen, she makes an impulsive wish of her own, and the Ghost grants it. Brutally.  (Now I'm really intrigued.  So far there's just enough detail to intrigue me but enough vagueness to make me wonder more.) 

Guilt-ridden, Wen befriends the Noor (Laborers), including their outspoken leader, a young man named Melik. (Yeah, okay, so there's a romance. Sigh.) At the same time, she is lured by the mystery of the Ghost and learns he has been watching her … for a very long time.  (Supernatural love triangle?  Please, god no.  I'm starting to grow "meh.")  

As deadly accidents (Where are these coming from?  Are they unexpected, unexplained?  Supernatural?) fuel tensions within the factory, Wen must confront her growing feelings for Melik, who is enraged at the sadistic factory bosses and the prejudice faced by his people at the hand of Wen’s, and her need to appease the Ghost, who is determined to protect her against any threat—real or imagined.  (Holy run-on, Batman!  Cut this in two!  But the protection part is kind of cool.  Adds some hint of where the 'accidents" are coming from.) She must decide whom she can trust, (Why?  Is there a reason to think Malik is shady?) because as her heart is torn, the factory is exploding around her … and she might go down with it.  (This ending is a little blah.  I mean, why is this factory so important?  Can't she just hightail it out of there?  I'm not getting a clear sense of the stakes.)  




the verdict 
4/5 stars

would i read it?:  yes 

The first paragraph packs a punch, immediately hooking me with a clear mystery and sense of danger.  Wish-granting ghosts are rare in these parts, so it's something new that doesn't scream "overdone."  Plus the fact that Wen accidentally causes something "brutal" to happen to someone sets up the opportunity for great character growth.  I'm a little less enthusiastic as it goes on.  There are huge love triangle red flags strewn in paragraph two.  Which is irritating.  Because I'm already annoyed that every young adult book has to have a romance.  Gawd.  But it could be some good West Side Story-esque drama, so I'll set my preconceived notions aside.  Where it gets sloppy is the last paragraph.  I don't feel the tension as much.  I'm not sure why the accidents are important.  I don't get the whole "trust" thing.  I need to know more.  What are these tensions at the factory?  What's the vague "explosion"?  Is there a threat of worker revolt?  Of mutiny and murder?  Vagueness worked to fuel interest at the start, but I need more information about the stakes to really understand Wen's dilemma.  Still, overall, it's a unique premise and a nonwhite cover model, so I'm definitely hooked.  



your thoughts

Does this blurb grab you?  
Do you agree with my thoughts?  If not, how so?  
Do you have any recommendations for blurbs I should shred?  



previous breakdowns 

Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira
Red Rising by Pierce Brown
Dangerous by Shannon Hale
She's Not Invisible by Marcus Sedgewick




4 comments:

  1. I'm not sure if I would read this one. :/ Looks like it could be either good and intense or a weird paranormal romance.

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    Replies
    1. I have the same worry, but I've decided to risk it. I just hope it's not some bizarro ghost love story.

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  2. This is such a fun feature!! This book was also incredible. I hate blurbs I feel like so many get it wrong or false advertise. :-)
    ~Brittany @ please feed the bookworm

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! I love doing this one. I'm glad the book lives up to the blurb. So many don't, which is why I created this feature. It's disappointing to think a book is like X and it ends up being totally wrong.

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