29.9.16

Book Blurb Breakdown: Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake

book blurb breakdown


Book Blurb Breakdown is a Sarcasm & Lemons feature where your anal English degree-holding author (gently) rips apart jacket blurbs to pin down what makes her want to pick up the book instantly--and what makes her want to throw it at the wall.  See the original post for more detail.  

If you'd like to do a breakdown, here's a snazzy little button!  Post your link in the comments. 







today's blurb




Status:  Read



the blurb: as is 

from Goodreads


Every generation on the island of Fennbirn, a set of triplets is born: three queens, all equal heirs to the crown and each possessor of a coveted magic. Mirabella is a fierce elemental, able to spark hungry flames or vicious storms at the snap of her fingers. Katharine is a poisoner, one who can ingest the deadliest poisons without so much as a stomachache. Arsinoe, a naturalist, is said to have the ability to bloom the reddest rose and control the fiercest of lions.

But becoming the Queen Crowned isn’t solely a matter of royal birth. Each sister has to fight for it. And it’s not just a game of win or lose…it’s life or death. The night the sisters turn sixteen, the battle begins. The last queen standing gets the crown.

If only it was that simple. Katharine is unable to tolerate the weakest poison, and Arsinoe, no matter how hard she tries, can’t make even a weed grow. The two queens have been shamefully faking their powers, taking care to keep each other, the island, and their powerful sister Mirabella none the wiser. But with alliances being formed, betrayals taking shape, and ruthless revenge haunting the queens’ every move, one thing is certain: the last queen standing might not be the strongest…but she may be the darkest. 


the blurb:  shredded 



Every generation on the island of Fennbirn, a set of triplets is born: three queens, all equal heirs to the crown and each possessor of a coveted magic. (This first sentence is really pithy. You could use it as an elevator pitch, almost.) Mirabella is a fierce elemental, able to spark hungry flames or vicious storms at the snap of her fingers. (Swoon. Elemental magic.) Katharine is a poisoner, one who can ingest the deadliest poisons without so much as a stomachache. (A stomachache seems a little anticlimactic for talking about poison.  I mean, atropine can paralyze you so you slowly asphyxiate, and we're going with stomachache?) Arsinoe, (Okay, really? Because I'm thinking of Arsenic and this is confusing. Although....oooh.) a naturalist, is said to have (has) the ability to bloom the reddest rose (So she's a gardener?) and control the fiercest of lions. (This is way cooler than growing flowers. If you're trying to put her up against a poisoner and an elemental, I maybe wouldn't lead with 'can grow badass florals.')

But becoming the Queen Crowned isn’t solely a matter of royal birth. (Wait, I thought they each were equal heirs? Maybe you should have mentioned the whole 'There can only be one!' bit.  Also this sentence is kind of dull.  It sounds like *nerdy voice* "Well, actually...") Each sister has to fight for it. (I hate this sentence. That does NOT conjure grand images!) And it’s not just a game of win or lose (That grammar feel squirrely to anyone else?)…it’s life or death. (Also this sentence. The first paragraph was so pretty. It feels clumsy now.  I've heard this same sentence a dozen times.) The night the sisters turn sixteen, the battle begins. (Except...) The last queen standing gets the crown. (I need some more oomph in this paragraph.) 

If only it was that simple. (That was simple?) Katharine is unable to tolerate the weakest poison, and Arsinoe, no matter how hard she tries, can’t make even a weed grow. The two queens have been shamefully faking their powers, taking care to keep each other, the island, and their powerful sister Mirabella none the wiser. (This makes it sound like they're colluding together, which is very misleading. It's also super intriguing...fake powers?  The plot thickens!) But with alliances being formed, betrayals taking shape, and ruthless revenge haunting the queens’ every move, (Wait, so what's going on with Mirabella?) one thing is certain: the last queen standing might not be the strongest…but she may be the darkest.  (What does that even mean!?


the verdict 

2.5/5 stars
would i read it?:  yes 


Very mild spoilers ahead.  I won't tell you what actually happens, just an important point about the timing of the battle.  Proceed with caution. 

I wanted to do this blurb because, after finishing the book, I remember feeling a little misled.  I think part of the reason it took me so long to get into Three Dark Crowns (which I did end up really enjoying, to be clear) is that I was expecting one story from the blurb, and I was given quite another.  You're expecting a huge battle between three queens, right?  So was I.  In fact, the first book only goes up to the very beginning of the battle.  The night they turn sixteen isn't the start at all.  It's where the book starts, but there's still a good month or so until the ceremony that marks the beginning of the queen-for-all.  Most of the book deals with each queen struggling to prepare for the battle.  There's intrigue, friendship, betrayal, and a lot of plotting, but it took me long enough to wonder why it was taking so long to get to the fighting that I didn't really settle in til halfway along.  Misleading!  That said, the blurb itself is decent, although that second paragraph is a snooze.  I also wish, of course, that it focused more on the cool stuff that actually does happen instead of foreshadowing something that's really more of a book 2 event.  


your thoughts

Does this blurb grab you?  
Do you agree with my thoughts?  If not, how so?  
Have you read it?  Does the blurb match the pages? 
Do you have any recommendations for blurbs I should shred?  

 



4 comments:

  1. I think the blurb is very misleading. It promises battle and death, and then the book practically goes nowhere. It starts out very exciting, but then it was a mess. I really wanted to like this one, but I couldn't.

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    Replies
    1. Yes! Right? I ended up liking it well enough, but I almost gave up on it a few times because I was wondering why we never got to the battle at all.

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  2. Okay so fun fact: I never read blurbs. Well, I read them only when I am adding the book to Goodreads, and quite literally not again until AFTER I read the book. Second fun "fact": This was freaking HILARIOUS and I loved it.

    I do think that the blurb is... Idk if it is misleading, but it isn't wholly accurate either, I guess. (Although the Arsinoe thing? MIND. BLOWN.) Though actually, the Mirabella thing IS kind of misleading. The rest of it is like... it's almost a SERIES blurb and not a THIS actual book blurb, maybe?

    I have no specific recommendations, but I want you to do these as much as possible, basically. I LOVE THIS.

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    Replies
    1. That was smart. I usually don't read them right before I start, but I did with this one and that was a mistake. Hehe I'm glad you enjoyed it!

      YES it reads exactly like a series blurb. They really need to change it. Too late, I guess.

      YAY I love doing them! I'm glad you enjoy it! They're my fav post type.

      Delete

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