tinderwitch
the official dating site of the 20-year-truce
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This post is mystically coming out on Obligatory Love Day Valentine's Day, so what better way to celebrate Susan's epic 2.5th installment of the Witchlands series than with a series of, you guessed it, or just read the title . . .
Witchlands dating profiles!
Brought to you by Sightwitch, a stunning found-footage novella set in the world of your favorite witcheries. It's set before the events in Truthwitch, but is best enjoyed after Windwitch, with a blankie and a glass of tea. Look down for more about Sightwitch, and keep scrolling for your favorite book boyfriends, girlfriends, and partners. I took the liberty of taking their dictation, since some of our lovelies were a little more . . . reluctant, than others.
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Ryber Fortiza was a Sightwitch Sister at a secluded convent, waiting to be called by her goddess into the depths of the mountain. There she would receive the gift of foretelling. But when that call never comes, Ryber finds herself the only Sister without the Sight.
Years pass and Ryber’s misfit pain becomes a dull ache, until one day, Sisters who already possess the Sight are summoned into the mountain, never to return. Soon enough, Ryber is the only Sister left. Now, it is up to her to save her Sisters, though she does not have the Sight—and though she does not know what might await her inside the mountain.
On her journey underground, she encounters a young captain named Kullen Ikray, who has no memory of who he is or how he got there. Together, the two journey ever deeper in search of answers, their road filled with horrors, and what they find at the end of that road will alter the fate of the Witchlands forever.
Set a year before Truthwitch, Sightwitch is a companion novella that also serves as a set up to Bloodwitch, as well as an expansion of the Witchlands world.
Tinderwitch
Ryber . Screenname: ConventLyfeLikes: Adventuring, Rule-following (very funny, did Tanzi make you say that?), Spelunking, The Rook
Dislikes: Snotty self-absorbed Tidewitches, Excessive solitude (I mean, I cherish my alone time but seriously!), Cleaning up after ungrateful nuns
Ideal date: Encountering your prone form and then rushing in to save your damsel-in-distressed ass like the badass I am. And then sharing swoonworthy banter. Also playing ski ball. Wut?
Looking for: A guy with exceptional structural integrity who isn't going to break in half any time soon
Safiya . Screenname: ucantlietomeLikes: taro, my bestie iseult!, guys who aren't total wusses, breaking a few rules ;) ;)
Dislikes: the emperor (oh come on like it's a secret), arranged marriages, everybody telling me wut to do ALL TEH TIME
Ideal date: something active, like running along the ocean or dancing until our feet hurt or doing something totally spontaneous
Looking for: someone who's not afraid to have fun and get into a little danger now and then
Iseult . Screenname: HeartthreadLikes: Mom. The smell of pine needles. My best friend Safi, most of the time (just kidding!). Reading. Knowing more than you.
Dislikes: Bloodwitch f*ckery. Nightmares. Being kidnapped.
Ideal date: Wandering through the woods on a chilly day at dusk, listening to the forest sounds and enjoying each other's company
Looking for: Someone who can keep up.
Merik . Screenname: SexyMcLeatherPants (Merik would like me to note that this screenname was the only one left)Likes: Swordplay, sailing, ladies with legs for days (not in a creepy way! does that sound too creepy?), sexy banter, saving people, Kullen
Dislikes: The overwhelming responsibility of rulership,
Ideal date: I would invite you onto my ship and take you up the mainmast. That's not a euphemism! Seriously, you could see the ocean better from up there! I mean, unless you want it to be a euphemism . . .
Looking for: A sassy lass who can hold her liquor, knows her way around a sword (NOT LIKE THAT), and isn't afraid to take charge
Aeduan . Screenname: AeduanLikes: Clearly defined blood scents. Solitary walks. Clean linen assassin's garb. Owl.
Dislikes: Monks. Criminals. Unnecessary emotional attachments.
Ideal date: I would like to make it known that I am here under duress. No, I do not find chasing girls sexy. I do NOT banter! Are you typing this? Are you still typing this?
Looking for: A scentless Threadwitch Nomatsi girl seen leaving the scene of a carriage heist. No, I meant looking for as in literally! Literally! This has nothing to do with romantic leanings! DO NOT PRESS PUBLI---
This is the best thing I have read all day omggg!!! :)
ReplyDeleteYaaay I'm glad!
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